Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Happy Holidays? not so much cheer here ...

OMG, it's December 7th already. I sent out Hanukkah cards on time. I also sent out early Holiday e-cards, trying to lift my own spirits and remind my close friends that I care about them. I've bought exactly one gift so far. How are you people doing? Where does one dredge up the energy to get through the season when one simply doesn't feel like it? I really don't feel like it. My mom broke her hip eleven days ago. She's 93, 2,000 miles away being properly cared for by my sister and brother-in-law, and I'm here caring for my daughter who needs me way more. All my grandchildren are teenagers who really only want money, although my grandson has asked for books, the girls just want money. I don't know what to buy my faraway son. He needs everything, as he is starting over in midlife. We are all living on far too little money, everyone is sad and/or depressed. Mom may or may not live through the holidays. I am grateful for what I do have, that is true. I am grateful that my kids are alive, that my grandchildren are healthy, that I'm alive and this sadness will pass. I have my writing, I have so many good friends, and I have my wonderful sister and brother-in-law out there with my Mom. There is love and light.